the sun is what i needed.

spring break is finally here and i have finally returned to texas. it was just what i needed to escape from the rut that is my life. i saw most of the people i want to see while i'm home last night. we kicked back a few beers and chatted for hours. it's great to be back. it's easy to eat healthy and i get to wake up whenever i want to and sit by the pool and read in my sundress and jam with my brother and nap and help my dad plant tomato plants in our greenhouse. i get to play with my dogs and smoke cigarettes on the backporch with mom, she with her american spirits and me with my parliaments. i get to regain some of the color in my skin and sleep in my full sized, squeaky bed and wake up with the hill country breeze coming in through my window that is populated by ladybugs. i get to walk around in shorts and sunglasses and dangle my feet in the pool that isn't quite warm enough yet and i have a reason to shave my legs.

i've never wanted to not go back school more than this moment right now.

what have we come to?

a few days ago, a website was created that has caused a craze that has swept over the entire campus. This website is called "holyokeconfessional.com". it is the most ridiculous site in the world - an anonymous forum where people can post anything that's on their mind. forums entitled, for example, "who is your secret crush?", "who has the best butt on campus?", and "who do you wish would turn gay?" i'm really apathetic about these types of forums - they are slightly entertaining in a ridiculous sense but i think that overall it's no good. people are taking it way too seriously and feeling like shit because they aren't getting named and think they're unnoticed. i'm torn because i feel like the website has some good qualities - people can share secrets and find out that other people are going through the same issues or are thinking the same things, that they're not alone. but it's being misused for shallow, pointless, and sometimes mean threads.

i thought i left high school two years ago?

on a lighter night, i'll be returning to texas in three days. i've got a lot of reading to catch up on during that week, but i'm looking forward to the warm weather and cool water that awaits me.

the modern town hardly knows silence.

i was in wal-mart the other day and it made me incredibly sad. consumerism is overrunning our society. shop shop shop, buy this buy that. "spend your money on this and you, too, can be beautiful!" "fork over some cash and you can slowly buy your way towards the life of your dreams!" corporations are disgusting and their influences are spreading like wildfire. new stores and restaurants popping up like steel blades of grass, providing americans with more worthless junk to keep them occupied and distract them from their sad lives. where have all the trees gone? these big, concrete eyesores make me sad. this life makes me sad. everything is centered around little fucking pieces of paper that only has value because our government says it does.

the same old carbon copy people buying the same useless shit and living cookie cutter lives. it depresses the fuck out of me. i refuse to live that way. to me, that's not even living. it's merely existing. i want something out of the ordinary, something that isn't routine.

i need escape. i wish i could go live on mars and start a new way of life for those who don't want to live the monotone pattern that we're all expected to follow.