i can't breathe with the dust of retreat.

I am freaking out and just feeling really frantic and overwhelmed right now. I just got an e-mail saying that my financial aid forms are incomplete and if they aren't all done by May 1st (tomorrow) then I won't be able to receive as much aid. I like that they wait until 2pm the day before to let me know. Not only that, but all my study abroad stuff is just really freaking me out and I don't know what I'm doing and I'm just sitting here crying and feeling stressed out. I have to pay everything up front for room, board, and tuition since I'm going to be an international student, but Mount Holyoke isn't giving us the money until August and I need it by July and we can't afford to just shell out 20,000 dollars all at once.

And on top of all that, it's really starting to hit me that school is almost over and I'm not going to see my friends for 8 months. I started packing last night and just got really sad. This is supposed to be an exciting time and all I can do is worry and be nervous and sad.